When I’m Failing…

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever...
But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”

— Psalm 73:23-26, 28 (ESV)

It’s a Saturday while my husband is deployed which means, “3 kids, and 1 Mommy” as I repeat to my 3 year old, 2 year old, and 5 month old. We had a great summer day: drove 45 minutes to a special park in the mountains, got a McDonald’s treat with money sent from the grandparents, played scooters in the garage, and chair danced at dinnertime.

But now it’s bath time, and this Mama is tired. The 2 year old is splashing water everywhere, the 3 year old is kicking off her jammies, and the baby that was sleeping in her swing is starting to cry. I’m about to say to the 3 year old, “Honey, Mommy doesn’t have the energy for this right now.” The immediate next thought says, “I’m failing. I’m about to lose my cool. I’m hurrying to get these kids to bed because I’m done and ready for a break.”

Then I remember, this hurry-up mentality is not the way of Jesus. And my favorite verse comes to mind, “Whom have I in heaven but you? My heart and my flesh my fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever“ (Psalm 73:25-26 ESV).

And I go to MY breath prayer of the season:

“Inhale: I have You
Exhale: Give me Your strength”

— Psalm 73

I know I will fail, but God never does. I know my energy and physical strength has limitations in this human body, but remembering right then and there in that moment that I have God. He is the strength of my heart, my emotional center.

The redirection of my “failing” to “God as my strength” was enough to not fail that time, to not blow it in that moment with my kids. It’s a small momentary victory every time I choose tenderheartedness to my toddlers instead of harshness and hurry. Oh, to transplant the heart of Jesus within me when my own heart is failing. Thank you, LORD God for being my refuge.

“But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the LORD God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”

— Psalm 73:28 (ESV)

This victory I celebrate and share because there have been many, many more moments that I hate to admit; I have blown it by losing my gentle heart. So, to see Jesus WIN for me is a noteable moment.

The only way this battle was successful was because of dwelling in the Word. If I didn’t have that verse written on my heart and present in mind, my own heart and flesh would have failed.

Dear friends, immersing ourselves in the Word is where the battle is fought. Jesus has won, I only need be reminded that His heart, His Spirit, and His way are already within me. And they are within you as well if you choose to take up “the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” (Ephesians 6:17 ESV).